kissxmorphine
out of chaos comes this beauty...
scared of this world
I wish the world would leave me alone, to go to a place all of my own. Where I can pretend I have all I need, where I can cry and just let life be. With all of this preassure and time running out, who's a friend and what are all these fake's about? Competition kills, destroy's us beacuse were all so worried about? About what? What you ask? I'll tell you what, they dont even know. Insercure? Ungreatful? Unblessed? Perhaps, but lets not forget.. Its hard and we all deal with pain but why do we have to deal with it alone? Its because we push eachother away, or maybe were just naive and do not know.
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scares of desire.
my palm are so ichy and this urge is driving me up the wall. im trying to, but i cant just sit here and ignore. imagine the paintings, imagine the image. shaking in regrets, throwing up my emotions. collapsing at a thought of a smile...take my life away i cant do this living, breathing, needing bullshit anymore.
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tonight.
Dear God, forgive me for what im about to do. forgive me for what the world will see. forgive me for those who i never forgave. forgive me for the times i pushed you away. help a lost soul on this battle of life. get me out of here and in youre arms tonight. this time im all alone. i got no one and no where to go. i want to go back to the one who took care of me, i cant wait to see tommy.
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and just when it gets good...the fucking devil rapes ur ass.
your experience makes me laugh when you have no consideration for a new found heart.constintly gripping apart pass it around cuz we all fucked up in this nieve town you can be the one who tells the jokes as i sit here and watch ur crowd choke it only makes it harded for a kid like me to have hope but maybe we just all fake coming accross fine in our own ways and sitting here i just got a chill up my spine reminding me that im failing and losing time as these precious months go by i flirt with nature trying the cure the human creation.
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trash talk
i want a big pretty shiny gun that i can watch you slowly suck on waiting for me to pull the trigger as i sit and smile watching ur brains blow apart cuz u took my mind apart and i never thoguht it would come to this part but im back to being the bitch with no heart. and i wish things could be the way they were before i wanna go back to the start dont wanna deal with immature selfishness bullshit anymore.talk to me but dont start.
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ugghh
i have this feeling crawling up my spine involving the secrets and all your lies. to think i dont know, u mislead ur own mind. get over it kid cuz theres no more time.
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MindSay Quick Update /
I am feeling fucked
upon nostalgia, ill sit here and contradict my over experienced warped wits and when i say this i mean blind-sided and bitch smacked in the face with an epiphany. as some may know or heard me say "pain is only in your mind, you can control it" which is true but, only until one finds something that makes them feel. to be brought of out the darkness or sub-conscience "numbness" of ones' life; then is when you turely feel many complex emotions that now ponder at mind and evidently we come out of the coma of an un realistic, un adventured, "normal" serene life and thus start our own awakening of what the real world and real life is truley unfolding about in our way.
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i want to be something more then complex-somthing as beautiful, as the simple as the stammering heart beat of those who try, who try to find and cannot seek, i dont want to hide but to be free in public is what i need to show them all that, yes, i can be. i can love and only love for him, and he is whom i need. not just want or some lust attachment to my mind but more then those feelings have grown over time. and i want to gather more and to know everything about him for it is he, his love that makes me grow.
MindSay Quick Update /
I am listening to dance gavin dance
ignore
i am the weak, the lonely-have no back bone reason why you can control me. with no stable mind i keep losing track of life. but understand ican hide, i can hide it all very well. so stuff me in the corner and leave me to cry. your not going to ever know, care, or see why.
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I feel the smoothness against my skin and this is where the fun starts to begin. A sences of rush crawling over my spine, will you take me one more time? Moment of passion as your bodys in sync with mine I will feel your whisper kindly gripping mine. A moan of lust that will make it this time-the best love I have ever had and constintly on my mind. Grabbing my voice and pulling it out, the quiver of your body is relaxing to find, to find a god as good as you makes me believe im in love with you.
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biting my tounge
biting my tounge so much its starting to bleed and when the time comes to release is when all will see the days and nights the scares the fights i have with myself its not satisfying my dreams
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waiting for it.
so instead of beating me and putting me through torture why dont you just kill me already? but i must say i love playing the role of a silly fool with no concerns or emotions. i love making you blind and not letting you see all the scares that your putting on me. for a moment of pretending is almost as good as the real thing, but almost never made it..but now will he?
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letting it go
ever just get that gunt feeling where vomit is on your mind. theres no more time to relax never mind cry.and wanted the things you thought you could never have. for me this world doesnt seem to settle till i have won, won your heart. and babe, you dont understand the things you do, all those things you say. i fell like im sitting here waiting for that one true day. but at times it doesnt seems like its coming at all. i have found love for the very first time and letting you know i will not go down without committing a crime. its all here so why the delay. the time wont stop and i want you, i want it my way.
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troubles of love
its so funny how a mood can go from glorious to glum. its a bitch this life and i can feel theres worse to come.not sure of what it is but i know what should be done.and just as fast as fun can come, so can the feeling of taking up the gun. dying inside pouring me out, exsposing truths with out a doubt. practicaly there but not even close, i can feel it, its like denial waiting to be proposed. and siting on it waiting for the charm. its alright if everything goes wrong.and it seems i just enjoy beating myself up.but i must say i enjoy the feeling of being numb
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make your promise to break my heart, that you will destroy me and take me apart. Its only fair for me not to breathe, me not to see, and for you to just leave. nervous at the sight for the love that you hold and theres something about me that you will never know. love being your excuse fort his identy to never rest, love being the reason i do not want to trespass. but as the days go by and these nights grow long, im sitting here cold, waiting for your warmth.
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wise wordss
Tags: 
prayer
prayerPeople are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of Selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you successful, you will win some False friend and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, Someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, People will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, And it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, It is between you and God; It never was between you and them anyway.
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